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I am presently experiencing life at a rate of several WTFs per hour
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Hot girls hit curbs - keychain
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Going to bed early, not leaving my house - Magnet
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You don't get smarter as you get older - magnet
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Don't be a lady, be a legend
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I'll have a hot grande mocha-choke-a-bitch latte to go.
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We go together like alcohol and bad decisions
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I love you like a cow loves not being a burger
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Unless he's wearing a diaper, you can't change him.
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I work to buy coffee, I buy coffee so I can work.
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Funny Chicken Sign
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I don't have a resting bitch face.
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Telling a woman to calm down works about as well as baptizing a cat
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Whoever said money can't buy happiness never paid for a divorce
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Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick
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she gave no fucks, not even a one - mug
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I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.
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It's not hoarding if your shit is cool
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Every woman has at least once challenge in life
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Some people just need a high five. In the face.
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Punch today in the face
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Every once in a while, someone amazing comes into your life...
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Do not ever underestimate my ability to find shit out
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Trial and error, but mostly error.
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